The Wreck

"How are you doing?"

"That's a loaded question these days," I laughed. 

I assumed she was asking about the wreck.

Three Months Before..... 

July 27th, 2017: 

       Thursdays are typically a little different for Nate and I. We would always get off of work about noon because we would have appointments in Des Moines. This Thursday was no different except that we were also preparing to leave for vacation and also needed to get Noah. So we left the van in town to get the oil changed and make sure everything (tires, etc) was in good order with it. We took the truck to Des Moines for our appointment and then drove to where we meet Noah's mom. From there we drove home. The evening was full of doing laundry and trying to get as much ready as possible. The plan was for me to go to work in the morning and then when I could leave, we'd be ready to head out.

July 28th, 2017:

        You know how plans go. They don't. I did go to work and I did all that I could there to make sure things were squared away. I actually didn't need to be there very long at all. Coming home and having everything ready on that end was what threw us off track. It's funny how there's always more to do than you think! (Dog food? She doesn't need to eat while we're gone! HA!) As we're FINALLY heading out of town I text the family and say "Heading to D.C.!" My job and some other things in life had been really stressful so everyone was really excited for me to get away... like really get away. My oldest sister texts "Have fun and relax Amanda!"
"I'm trying" was my response.

We didn't get gone nearly as early as we wanted. That meant we hit Chicago when we didn't want to hit it. I was behind the wheel though which was actually a good thing. You see, I get car sick. I have for as long as I can remember. If you know my parents, you can ask them if it's as long as they remember too. If I'm behind the wheel, there's less of a chance that I'll get sick. This is especially true in stop and go traffic.

We made it through Chicago and ended up at our Friday night destination. Toledo, Ohio.

July 29th, 2017:

        We wanted this to be a relaxing vacation so we didn't want to have to get up early and feel rushed. But we also didn't want to get to the D.C. area too late. So we were up around 8:00 maybe. We didn't rush around but got up, ate the continental breakfast and then headed out. There was a lot of road construction in Ohio. We found out that at certain points it would split and one lane would be called the express lane. This would mean if you didn't need an exit anytime soon, you could go in that lane and not deal with it. The other lane had access to all the exits.

We had two DVD players and two screens in our van. So Brady (17yr old) could watch one thing and Noah (9yr old) could watch something else. They were both set. I had just received a text about our dog at home and things were well. I put my phone in the cubby space in the door. We started into road construction. We took the express lane... no exits. I had gotten out a travel game that Nate and I played a couple years ago on a trip. I set it down and said, "I think I can actually finally relax! I haven't been able to say that in a while!"

"That's good!" Nate replied.

We both looked over into the other lane. We saw a construction guy waving his arms. I looked back in front. I saw taillights. 

BAM!!!!

Airbags!!!!

I hit twice.

Give me a second. I just relived it. It makes my chest hurt.

Okay... 

I hit twice.

I instantly hear Noah crying. Brady and I try to get out. We do as Nate gets around to get Noah. Brady and I run to the cement barrier (between us and the other lane option). We just need to breathe. Nate sends Noah to me. He's bawling so I'm checking him all over. He says it's his chest so I immediately think broken collar bone. I keep looking realizing that I'm not going to know anything at this point. A lady from one of the vehicles comes and says she's a nurse. (THANK YOU, LORD!!) She and I try to talk to Noah. A lady from another vehicle comes. At this point, I'm suddenly very aware that we've stopped traffic.

Obviously, Amanda! It's basically one lane!

I'm looking at the vehicles behind us. The ones not in the accident. I'm looking at these people in the eyes. It was one of the oddest moments. In this odd moment I notice a vehicle ahead of us leaving. I don't realize how important that is until later.

I'm brought back to the reality that I AM in the accident when the nurse lady says Noah can come sit in her van. I let her take him as I ask Brady how he is. He says his leg or hip hurts. Other than that he's obviously shaken.

I'm in major pain. I didn't put weight on my ankle the whole time and my left hip really hurts. Of course, other things hurt like my head, chest, stomach but my ankle and hip were IN PAIN!!

I can't honestly tell you where Nate was during those first few moments. I'm sure he was talking to the other drivers trying to figure out what happened. We saw each other in passing at one point and I asked him to grab my phone out of the door.

As I check on Noah and see that he's doing better and the nurse is doing well with him for the time being, I go to look at the van and try to grasp the situation. 

The one road construction worker that was waving was now over on our side. He was talking to us and eventually helped get traffic moving around us. He said that a white jeep stopped suddenly for no reason. Then the van (the nurse lady) had enough time to just swerve beside him. Then a Durango bumped into him and we slammed into the Durango causing it to move up beside the jeep.

That vehicle I saw leaving before? Yep. The white jeep.

Yes.

The white jeep that stopped suddenly for no reason... that caused the whole wreck... drove off.

He drove off!

He left part of his bumper... unfortunately, not the part with a license plate.

There were other witnesses to the fact that he did stop for really no apparent reason. 

(sidenote: as we were driving home, we found out that in Ohio if you cause an accident and someone is injured or killed, it is automatic jail time. So, he saw Brady and I jump out and knew it was bad? Only speculation)

The police were called right away. The ambulance was called a little later. I'm not quite sure when. We made appropriate phone calls... to parents or whomever. 

The road construction guy told us that if we wanted the ambulance in here, we needed to let the traffic move faster; we needed to get to the side. (the side our cars were closer to.. not the barrier Brady and I ran to). The cop is questioning the others so their vehicles can move out of the way. The van in front was barely scraped and no one was injured. The Durango was drivable and he was not injured (although I'm sure he was very sore!!). 

The road construction guy notices me limping and says, "Ma'am, you need to sit down!"

Brady helped me over to sit. As I went down, my ankle popped. I started crying. 

Brady went to get Nate. The nurse brought me a frozen juice jug wrapped in a diaper (she was great!!). I also told her Noah could come sit with me. 

One EMT was able to get to the other lane so he climbed over the barrier to start initial questions and checks. But we still needed the ambulance to get through the traffic in our lane... remember.. express lane! no access to exits! supposedly a great idea!!! (can you hear the drips from my sarcasm?)

I try to get Noah to think about something else so I tell him that I saw a New Hampshire license plate. But right at that moment a motorcycle going the other direction on the opposite side of the barrier we're sitting against hits their accelerator or whatever it is that makes it sound REALLY loud! It made Noah jump so badly that he panicked and bawled all over again. 

I tell you what... if you are ever... EVER driving by a car wreck or anything.. be considerate!!! You have no idea! 

NONE! 

At that moment, I was more mad at that motorcyclist than the white jeep... especially when I looked up and the EMT, cop, Nate, Brady and road construction guy were all telling me that it was unnecessary. 

I focused on getting Noah to calm back down. 

The ambulance finally arrived. I was loaded on the stretcher. The boys were put in back with me. Nate rode up front.

Since my pain was so high, the guy puts an IV in me to give me morphine. Doing that means he has to hook me up to all of these other wonderful, cords and wires. Noah seems to get better as his concern switches off of himself towards me. Brady says his leg doesn't really hurt as bad but he seems extra quiet.

I know. Quiet is to be expected.

But this was EXTRA quiet. I was a little concerned (that's my counselor/mom in me). But I wasn't going to get a chance to really talk to him for a few more hours. 

It takes a little time to get to the hospital because of the no exit thing plus it's a toll road. 

But we end up at the Hospital in Fremont.

We part ways when we get there. I'm taken one direction. The three guys another.

When a nurse isn't asking me questions, I'm updating my family on our group texts. I tell them that I'm determined to keep going on this vacation. I've seen D.C. and New York City. The guys haven't. If I have to stay at the campground, then I will. But we are going!! 

When I'm saying this, I really have no clue what all this really means. I just knew that I wasn't going to say "okay, I guess we're going to turn around and go home." That seemed silly and pointless in my head. It seemed like defeat and very depressing!! 

We all had x-rays done.

As we were waiting for results, the guys' nurse came in to me. 

She said, "Noah is really worried about you and wants to know if he can see you" 

(tears) 

Then she said, "I also gave Brady a big lecture on not wearing his seatbelt!" 

(can't breathe)

The boys came in. I talk to them about how they're feeling. If anything hurts still, what all they had x-rays on, etc. Noah asked me questions and of course, had tons of stories to tell. It's amazing what all happens when I'm not there! 

Brady was acting more himself. I know we'll all talk about the wreck many more times so I wasn't going to bring it up then. I was content in knowing 1. he was alive! 2. why he was extra quiet. 

We're all told that our x-rays came back okay. The nurse read the boys' release papers to me. Nate was on the phone. Then my nurse came and talked to me. Severe sprain to the ankle and she didn't say anything about my hip. She told me she wanted me to try to walk but would give me crutches if I wanted them. I'm stubborn AND have a pretty high pain tolerance. When I picture myself walking around a city all day long... it's not with crutches!! 

So they wrapped up my ankle and I very slowly got down off the hospital bed. 

We found Nate by the nurses station.

"All the rental places are closed. Not just for the day but the weekend. We're stuck until Monday."

"WHAT?!?!?!"

A nurse shows us where there's a private room where we can make more phone calls or do what we need to do.

Nate is on the phone with an AAA membership lady. He turns her over to me. There is absolutely nothing she can do. There is nothing open in Fremont or in Toledo. She did give us the number to the car rentals in the airport in Toledo. We were too far away for Enterprise to pick us up and still the reality was that everything was closed... even those in that airport.

We didn't know what to do. Nate was making another call. I got up and walked to the nurses' station. I started crying.
I tried to say, "How far is the closest hotel? Are there any rental places that'll be open tomorrow? We're literally stuck here in the hospital and I can't walk far to a hotel." I'm sure I said more and was rambling. The two ladies started writing down some numbers for me and then one said the best thing I had heard all day.
"My husband can come get you and take you to a hotel. Then take your husband to your van to get your luggage."

I went and got the family.

It was a relief to be out of the hospital. The accident had happened around 11:00am and it was after 6:00pm that we got to the hotel. We were all hungry. Of course we ordered delivery since we had no transportation and couldn't move.

Noah was feeling so well that he even went swimming in the hotel pool. Nate and I went down and just sat and watched him. We were thankful that he was able to have some fun.

The lady at the front desk knew our situation so when I asked her for some extra bags for ice, she gave me a whole roll. I filled several so we could each ice our injuries. We were going to be sore in the morning!

We still had the stress of how we were going to get out of Ohio (no offense of anyone who lives there!)

We reached out on Facebook and so many friends from home answered back with possible solutions. We were so thankful!
My mom had also sent me an email address of a church in Toledo. She has a book of addresses of non-denominational churches across the States that are like our church at home. I think the thought is that if you're traveling, you're able to find a church on Sunday no matter where you are. But in our case, it was a way to get help from family... brothers and sisters in Christ.

We had made contact and they had a man that could drive us to Toledo Sunday morning. The problem was we still had to wait until Sunday morning to find out if anyone had anything available for us to drive. So he had stayed home from church and we had to wait until the rental places even opened before we could call.

I'm horrible in those moments. I want to know exactly IF it's going to work out. I want to know if we're staying another night, if we're heading home, if we're heading to D.C., etc.
God was providing in amazing ways but I didn't see all the details until it was all over.

After a restless night of sleep, we drag ourselves down for breakfast. We have time to move slow because the rental place didn't open until 10:00am on Sundays.
At 10:01am we called.

Yes! 

They had a Dodge Grand Caravan!!

The man that could help us lived a little South of where we were (I believe). He came and picked up Nate and they drove to Toledo.
I had to go to the front desk to see if they'd let the boys and me stay in the room until Nate got back or if we'd have to sit in the lounge. I start to tell her our situation and start tearing up. She was fine with us staying an extended stay with no extra charge.

It was probably about 2:00pm that we leave the hotel to go to our van to clean it out. That was hard and I was extremely worried about how Noah would take it.
Since he was so scared at the accident, I figured he didn't really remember what it looked like. I was right. He was just taking it in. The neat part was that he saw how the airbags came down beside him.

We started cleaning out everything and talking about different things we remember about the wreck. This is when we realize that the reason I hit the airbag twice was because of the first initial impact and then when Brady hit my seat because he wasn't buckled in.
My seat was broken and turned slightly.

As you look through the pictures you can see how God protected us. It could have been so much worse!!!

Noah never even had a bruise. I thought for sure he'd have one from the seatbelt since he was crying so hard but it must have been more shock and panic. We only get him every other weekend but the first question he asks me is still "how's your ankle? how's your hip?".

Brady also never had a bruise. Oh man could he have been worse!!! Since we had the Dodge Caravan we had the Stow-n-Go seats. Brady was in the far back and there was a Yeti-type cooler between him and my seat as the passenger. He's 6 foot but still that’s quite the projection. The possibilities of what could have happened to him are almost endless. It is extremely scary to think about and amazing.... A-MAZING!... that he walked away with not even a bruise!

Nate had a bruise on his shoulder from his seatbelt. He also had some bruises and scrapes on his shins from the airbags that came out around the pedals. (I didn't know they had airbags down there either!) For him, the rest was more mental and emotional. He kept dealing with it and thinking it was his fault. In his mind "he almost killed his family." We know it's not his fault and there was nothing he could have done. We've all told him that.
It was just one of those things. Unfortunately... one of those things that we were apart of.

Now there's me. I got the brunt of it all. I had bruises all across my stomach and hip.
Three months later I'm still dealing with pain and after effects. My hip more than my ankle actually. My ankle was in severe pain during the whole thing so that’s where my focus was. Then during vacation we walked around D.C. and New York City. I had my ankle wrapped but still limped a lot. I thought that was why my hip hurt so badly. The week after we got home I didn’t wrap my ankle. I still could barely walk. My hip and ankle were both very sore. It hurt to sit, stand, walk, lie down…. Basically, it hurt to move. My adrenaline from determination to have a vacation was over. The pain was a lot more powerful. 

My ankle is badly sprained. I do exercises and stretches. Occasionally, it still gives me some pain.

My hip has been a longer road. My physical therapist said that the impact of the crash doesn’t really match my symptoms. We don’t know why this is. We do know that my seat did get knocked off and turned slightly (if you go back up and look at the last picture you can kind of see this). The Yeti-type cooler left big marks on the back of my seat so we know that played a big part in knocking my seat off. 

My physical therapist says it's been bothering him so we sat and tried to figure out different scenarios.  He told me that the symptoms showed that something hit my knee straight on and made my hip go backwards. Our thinking is maybe the cooler knocked my seat crooked then as Brady hit my seat my knee did hit the dash. It's only a theory. 

For awhile I was looking at surgery even though it didn't seem to make sense. Surgery finally is out of the question.

A week ago I was cleared from everything. The problem was I had only driven out of town once. 

We never got a new vehicle because I'm terrified. I'm terrified to drive. I'm terrified to ride. 

The one time I drove was to a football game. It was a few months ago and I was definitely still in a lot of pain. I was so uncomfortable I couldn't even sit during the game. 

My physical therapist said that I have to drive though. Not only drive out of town to Des Moines but shop around to see how I do. So a week ago I took my dad Christmas Shopping. I thought I was doing decent. But I felt like a student driver again. I was second guessing decisions which is a big deal sometimes. My hip also hurt all last week and I'm needing to go back to physical therapy when we thought we could be done.

I'm honestly discouraged. 

I want to feel “normal”. This is especially true when I watch the boys and Nate feeling fine. 

I'm sick of the pain. I'm sick of the unexpected pain I sometimes get in my ankle.

They're both getting better and I try to remember how bad I was in the beginning.

And again.... I definitely try to remember how bad it could have been!!!

I mentioned how God was taking care of us during the wreck but He also provided all those little details......

A nurse at the accident

Another 20 minutes into the trip and I would have had my legs on the dash (and folded in half!)

A nurse and her husband helping us to a hotel and to the van to get luggage

Getting a Grand Caravan and not a smaller vehicle or one that would cost us more gas

Providing a driver to get Nate to the rental place (God has a great big family!!!)

A hotel more than willing to help us feel comfortable

A hotel not charging us extra when they easily could have

We still got to D.C. the day we planned... not as early but still! Does that matter compared to what could have been?

God was in there.

We don't understand why it happened and more than likely we never will. But that doesn't change the fact that God protected us and provided for us along the way. 

We were all tense in the van the rest of the trip. But we did it. And we made it!

It was a strange vacation where other oddities happened (skunks at our campsite, 400 Orthodox Jews at a rest area...) but it made it all the more memorable. Those things helped us laugh rather than just have one big negative memory.

I'm still extremely tense in a vehicle. I jump several times and cover my eyes. I don't like being in a vehicle at all no matter who is driving!

If you live here, you'll see me walking. You may see me limping.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm alive. We're all alive."

Praise the Lord!!