No Tech Day

How do you feel about technology?

I honestly have mixed feelings. 

I'm obviously using it now. 

It's a lot easier to stay in contact with long distance friends.

And I definitely think it helped find the suspects in Boston. 

There are several more positive things that come from technology but I feel like there's a negative side to every positive if we aren't careful.

We don't seem to think for ourselves anymore. We'll whip out our smart phones to find the answer rather than stopping and thinking. Any decision that we have, we may get on a social site and ask others what we should do. Or when trying to go somewhere, we use GPS rather than a map and our brains.

Kids seem to think experience is found on the screen. Video games and things seem so real to them that they think they have actually experienced it. They'll stay inside looking at nature on the screen rather than be outside and truly be in nature!

While technology helps us be in contact with long distance friends, I think it blocks a closeness we could have with people who live near us.

There's more negative things I can think of but I want to stop there.

On Saturday my husband and I did a No Tech Day. We decided that we wouldn't play, look up the weather or any other apps on our phones. We wouldn't get on the computer either. 

We went as far as to say we weren't going to watch TV or a movie. 

I had read the idea in the Reader's Digest. It didn't go into much detail about how to do it but just the thought of doing it appealed to me. I mentioned it to my husband Friday night and so we agreed to try it.

We don't have big problems with talking and doing things together. But sometimes it does seem like we're in the same room and yet different places. Our conversation would go something like this:

"What are you doing?"

"Playing golf. You?"

"Playing Flow"

THE END

The thing is that we could have that conversation, playing our phones, while the TV is on. We don't have cable or satellite so it could be we used Netflix through the Wii. 

Isn't that kind of sad in a way?

Is technology blocking some of your relationships?

My husband and I aren't that bad all the time, just occasionally. But there is that sense of what would happen if we didn't have all this "stuff"?

Let me tell you... It was FUN!!!!

We were together basically all day. 

We worked together cleaning out his house (that we just sold!). 

We drove around and talked together.

We went out for ice cream together.

And boy, did we laugh together!!

If it was nicer out, we probably would have gone on a walk or done something more in nature. We both love to be outside so that would have made it easier.

We ended the day by playing a game together. I feel like I was raised on board games. And even though I have quite a few, we hardly play them. 

It just made us realize how quickly we can become distant. 

Like I said, we really aren't as bad as I can imagine other houses are. We always find time to talk before we go to sleep but it may not be very long or expansive. 

There's something different when we're not just talking about what happened that day or what we need to do this week.. but adding to it what we'd like to be in the future or reliving the past. 

It connects you all over again.

What about you and your family?

The weekends we have the boys we always do a family night. Occasionally, it's playing a game together but more often, it's movie and popcorn. Again, I'm not saying these things are bad but it's nice to mix things up and do things that require more communicating.

We hear or read about how important it is to eat as a family around the table. I think any more people tend to eat in front of the TV or are looking at their phones even if they're physically at the table. 

We already don't do that. We sit as a family around the table and our phones aren't touched unless they ring (not text). I can see the importance!

If doing a No Tech Day seems too daunting to you, try the meal thing first. Or maybe part of a day.

My oldest step-son will be a teenager next week. Right now he WANTS to do things with us. He wants us to come out and play basketball with him or he wants us to all play a game or watch a movie together.

How long will we have that? When is he going to decide he would rather not have us around?

It's funny because a week ago he said, "Let's drive around all day because that's when we talk the most." Smart kid!

He'll be getting his own cell phone here very soon.

I'll admit I fear how this is going to affect our lives here. I foresee us sitting in the same room but not paying attention to the other people in that room.

It's quite possible we'll try to do the No Tech Day more often and make it so that we won't text anyone that day either. 

There's different levels anyone could do this.

 In the Reader's Digest, there was the easy level. It was where you designate one room in your house as a No Tech Room... with a basket on the door for a cell phone. That sounds appealing to me for the kitchen. So even though I sit there while paying bills and things.. I would have to make that conscience effort to get up and get on my phone. We don't have a TV in the kitchen so that wouldn't be a problem. And I'd have to make myself only use the computer for business purposes. 

The next level was a weekend retreat type thing, I believe. That's the angle I was going for with our Saturday. If we were going to do it again, I think we'd plan ahead a little more to prepare ourselves mentally and maybe tell others so we could just leave our phones home. I'd be tempted to do it for more of the weekend.

The third and hardest level was done by a man in California. He traded in his smart phone for a regular flip phone. He really enjoys it because he says he's getting to know his city even better. One reason is he's out experiencing it and the other is he's not using the directions given from his phone. He's using his head and learning how to get around. If you don't have a smart phone, this probably seems silly that it's the hardest level. But if you have one, you know how addicting it is... how easy it is to go to it for everything.

I have said several times that I wish my husband and I didn't get smart phones. We justified why we "needed" them. He uses the weather app pretty often especially at work on a potentially stormy day. I like being able to check my email or the schools website anywhere I go. Now that we have them, it'd be hard to give up!.. no matter how much I think we use them too much. That just takes will power to only use them when necessary. 

My husband and I really enjoyed our No Tech Day. He even admitted that it wasn't as hard as he thought it would be. We were both relaxed and enjoy each other's company all day long. 

Neither of us regret it or feel like we missed out on something. 

Like I said... it was FUN!

I encourage you to at least consider doing a No Tech Day or part of a day. 

Shut off the video games, cell phones, and computers. 

Talk to each other. Laugh together. Play together. 

Enjoy each other while you're still able to BE together!

My hardest trial... so far.

It seems like every time I post something on here God says, "Okay, let's see you practice what you preach."

The same day I did my last post, I had another "event" happen.

As the day wore on, I was not feeling well. I was so nauseous and weak that I couldn't make supper. Unfortunately, this happens to me fairly often. It doesn't mean I'm sick or coming down with something. My body just gets weak.
My husband had his monthly Firemen meeting so was not home. Thankfully, my step-son is old enough to fend for himself. He got something to eat, ate and then headed back outside to play basketball.
I decided to try to eat something. So hanging onto the counters and moving slowly, I made myself some soup.
As I tried to get a Sprite out of the plastic rings, another Sprite fell to the floor. It started spinning and sprayed the entire kitchen!!
Seriously, I had a Sprite sprinkler at my feet!
The bills on the table were wet. The fridge was wet. My socks and pants.. soaked!
Last night (two days later!) I found some on my china hutch!
It seriously went everywhere!
I was feeling so weak that I had to call my husband home to help me. He hadn't been gone long so I figured they were still cleaning trucks and hadn't started the actual meeting yet. I was right.
Thankfully, he came and cleaned the floor. After mopping it twice... it's still sticky!
As the Sprite was spraying everything, I thought of my blog.
"Are you kidding me? I have to laugh?"
In the moment I smiled. I smiled at God's sense of humor.
It didn't take long for it to turn into a joke around here though. My step-son thinks it's hilarious and is sad he was outside and missed it all. But we all still laugh when we see spots on the wall or the curtains.

I didn't decide to post today just to tell you that story though.

I mentioned in my last post that last week there was a lot of stress going on. There was something underlying everything else that was happening.

Six months ago I had my regular annual exam. It came back abnormal. This can happen and it typically means nothing. But they like to recheck six months later.
Last week I went in for the recheck.

This time she saw spots on my cervix.

"It could be nothing!" she said trying to comfort me, "But we won't know for a week."

Those of you that know me personally, know that I want to be a mom so badly. I've wanted to be a mom since I was little and that's all I've wanted to be.
I was CRUSHED at this news.
I felt like I was looking cancer straight in the face.

Each day I tried to think 'it could be nothing'. But my mind liked to run wild.
Was I going to be able to have kids at all? Would we have money to do en-vitro? Would someone be willing to be a surrogate for me? Were we going to adopt?
If it was cancer.. was I going to have to stop working? Would I feel worse than I do now? Will I die?

My mind very quickly went to dark places and I had to draw it back. I had to pray often!

The reaction from others just heightened my fear. At one point my oldest sister (who's married to a doctor!) asked me IF I found out I couldn't have kids, would I adopt. She emphasized the word "IF" but still (in my mind) if the doctor's wife was thinking along those lines, it must be a BIG possibility!

I don't know how many of you have faced things like this. It is indescribable!

It is for sure the hardest week of my life!

The day after I went to the doctor, I was struggling the most. The day before I think I was just in shock. It sunk in more the next morning.
As I was praying I said, "Lord, I need a song. I need a song to run through my head that reminds me how much You care. A song that will stick with me."
I had thought about the song "Cast all your Cares" but for me that was what I was struggling with. I was struggling casting my cares on Him. I needed a song that showed me why I can do that!
I kept praying and laid in my bed until it came.

"Why should I feel discouraged? Why should the shadows come?
Why should my heart be lonely and long for heaven and home
When Jesus is my portion? My constant Friend is He:
His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."

Perfect.

This song comes from Luke 12:6, 7.  "Are not five sparrows sold for two cents? Not one of them is forgotten before God. Indeed, the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Do not fear; you are more valuable than many sparrows."  (it's also found in the book of Matthew)

God cares about all of His creation but we, mankind, are the most important to Him.

The song above is "His Eye is on the Sparrow" written by Civilla D. Martin. You may have heard it song by Lauryn Hill especially in the movie Sister Act 2 or maybe Whitney Houston's version.

Here is the background for the song from Civilla D. Martin.

Early in the spring of 1905, my husband and I were sojourning in Elmira, New York. We contracted a deep friendship for a couple by the name of Mr. and Mrs. Doolittle—true saints of God. Mrs. Doolittle had been bedridden for nigh twenty years. Her husband was an incurable cripple who had to propel himself to and from his business in a wheel chair. Despite their afflictions, they lived happy Christian lives, bringing inspiration and comfort to all who knew them. One day while we were visiting with the Doolittles, my husband commented on their bright hopefulness and asked them for the secret of it. Mrs. Doolittle's reply was simple: "His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me." The beauty of this simple expression of boundless faith gripped the hearts and fired the imagination of Dr. Martin and me. The hymn "His Eye Is on the Sparrow" was the outcome of that experience.

The chorus of the song is this:
"I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free;
For His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me."

Do you know how hard it is to sing "I sing because I'm happy" when you're facing possible cancer and your biggest dream is crashing down around you?

I've sang that song in my head SOOO many times over the last week and I forced myself to smile during that phrase every time.
It helped!

This entire song helped me keep my focus on God and how He cares. It helped me know that He's in control and He'll be with me whatever the future holds.

I still struggled.
I still had fear.
But I also had God.

What is fear?

Fear is the lack of faith.

Have you ever thought about it like that before? I had just heard it phrased that way recently.
There's all sorts of fear... fear for the world, fear for our nation, fear for our lives on a personal level. All of it is lack of faith. It's lack of trusting God with the outcome.

When children get scared at night, where do they run? They run to their parents' room and find comfort in just being near them. The scary thing may still be near, but they have peace knowing their parents are protecting them.

The same goes for us as Children of God.
The scary (fearful) thing is still there but we need to find comfort in the presence of our Father.

The week has been hard.
Waiting is hard.

Something to remember during a time of waiting... Waiting is a trial in itself.

All trials are to help us build our character and become more like Christ.

Whether it's waiting for news like I was or waiting on God's guidance in your life, no matter what you're waiting for, God wants you to learn and grow during that time. He wants you to depend and rest in Him. Having patience is HARD! But God desires that in us.

I was waiting for the results. I was waiting to hear what my future held.

Every time the phone rang my heart would beat fast and I'd get a knot in my stomach.
When I would talk about it, I would tear up.
The thought of losing my ability to have kids was so real.
Every thing we had going on, I felt like I had to be fake. I had to appear to be Okay on the surface while just under that was a huge fear. I didn't want to tell everyone about it and yet it was on my mind constantly.

I longed for it to be all over. I wanted to move on to the next step... whatever that was.

I finally got the phone call.

The results came back clear!! PRAISE THE LORD!

I still need to keep an eye on things and there's still issues that need to be figured out. I'm not out of the woods as far as possibly not being able to have kids on my own BUT that hope still exists. At this point, there's still that option. That is such a great feeling!

There's still decisions to be made and things to consider. But God has kept the door open.

I wanted to write all of this while the feelings and emotions of the last week were still fresh. I don't think it's ever going to be possible to completely forget what I felt, thought and learned during this trial but I know the freshness will diminish some. Time may heal all wounds but the memory will always exist.

I looked fear straight on.
I wasn't successful the entire time. It wasn't easy by any means!
As I said, the whole experience is indescribable. Unless you have been through something similar, you won't be able to fully grasp it. It's hard for me to describe all the feelings and emotions that happened.
Maybe some of you can relate to that.
Fear and peace seemed to fight against each other. I don't want to relive it. And I pray I never have to.

But I know HE watches me... and I can cast all my cares, fears and worries on Him.

I sneezed and it caused me to spill my coffee

Do you ever have one of those days where everything seems to go wrong?

Lately for me, it's like I have at least one of those days once a week.
The weather is finally getting nice outside and so the kids are going crazy. They're bouncing off the walls.
Earlier in the month, a ball was kicked inside my house and it broke the light's shade on the ceiling. It was a day that I had extra kids. There were 15 kids in my basement plus my husband and step-son!
But guess what?.. at that particular moment, all the kids were playing near the wall. Not a single one was hit by glass! God protected us in that case!
It was also nice that my husband happened to be there. A lot of times he has things to do when he gets off work. That day he was there and even in the basement. So while I picked up the big pieces of glass and dealt with the kid that kicked the ball, he ran to get the vacuum and got the rest of the glass.
I remember that in the moment I thought "what else could happen today" but right now I don't remember all the little things that probably happened before that.

The next week was Spring Break so I expected it to be a little crazier. But the way the week started was unexpected. I had just gotten the kids lunch and was in the kitchen making my own sandwich. A little girl came in with tears and just waving her arms like "come here. come here. come here!" Thinking someone may be choking, I ran in. Well.. her brother had gotten sick. Not only all over himself but the little guy next to him as well. Ugh.
It's always a hassle cleaning up messes whether it's glass or throw up but there's so much more going on when it's someone getting sick. Not only do you have to clean up the actual mess but you have to clean up the child AND make sure the other kids don't make the mess worse. The whole room needs to stop moving (which rarely happens). You have kids that ask several times what happened. You have kids that (amazingly) have finished eating and want to know what we're going to do next. You have the child that got sick and making sure they don't do it again. You have to make sure you're calling one of his parents to come get them. And in this particular moment, I had a little girl freaking out at the whole experience.
It's one of the moments where you feel like screaming and yet have to appear calm so the kids stay calm.
To add to it this particular day, I was having my cycle and was in a lot of pain. It's amazing how that seems to diminish when your body goes into overdrive. But then is worse when the stress subsides.

This past week has just been plain stressful. But there was still one day that sticks out more than others. The kids were bouncing off the wall even more so. They were arguing and tattling more than normal. It was one of those mornings where I didn't get to drink my coffee until later.
I had my coffee in hand and I sneezed. Yep, the coffee spilt over the top. It was as if I was in a car and hit a big bump. It's one of those moments where I say "are you kidding me?"
The kids always make me laugh at this point. They come over wanting to know what's wrong and what happened and if I'm mad. haha.
Later that day, a child knocked a picture off my shelf. Again, I have broken glass. At this point, the week had been so stressful and the day seemed so long, I just shrugged it off. I had the "okay. why not?" type of attitude.
Was the day over? Nope.
It was almost closing time and I only had a few kids left. I had been upstairs talking to a parent and downstairs the kids were getting in trouble. One ended up crying and needing an ice pack.

Working with kids is just asking for these kinds of days. It's never dull.
But I'm sure that a lot of you feel like you have these kinds of days whether it's dealing with children or not.

There's a lot more that I could tell you that's happened over the last few weeks but those were the highlights.

As I look back, I laugh.

I laugh at how crazy life has been. I laugh at how the kids react to different things and how they still talk about some of the things that happened. I laugh at how it seems like when one thing happens, something else does too.

My mom handed me a note the day before my coffee spilled, the picture broke and a child needed an ice pack. What she had written wasn't about anything going on but the paper had something printed on it. It said "When life becomes a roller coaster, raise your hands and enjoy the ride".

It's hard to laugh in the moment. But after we deal with the mess and anyone involved, we need to move on and laugh about it.
Life happens.
Life is eventful.
Laugh and enjoy the ride!

And when you're going to sneeze... set your coffee down first. :)