Stumped them again...

I don't know what it is about my body that makes me feel symptoms, pain or what have you and yet nothing is wrong.

If you haven't read my last post "Living with Pain", please read that first.

I'm going to start where I left off. By Friday evening, I was pretty tired and worn out. As a family, we just stayed home, watched a movie and I went to bed early.

Saturday I didn't feel right. My stomach was hurting. I felt weak and in need of food but also felt like if I ate, I'd get sick. I took my morning pretty slow. It was hard because I knew that my step-son was heading to camp the next day and I needed to help him get ready.
My husband did the laundry and I was able to go to the store.
I was feeling better but never felt great.
I'm so used to putting my mind to something and getting it done. I work fast and efficient.
Not lately though.
I have to sit often. I just stop and focus on breathing.
Saturday evening I went and sat on my bed. My husband and step-son came back as well and we were just chatting.
Something caused me to go into a huge coughing fit and I ended up getting sick. When I returned to my room, my step-son said, "I can't wait until July 1st."
He's a teenager so typically he's talking about something for himself. :)
This time he was talking about my doctor's appointment.
He said, "I was thinking this morning about what if some day you woke up with no pain. Wouldn't that be cool? I bet our lives would be a lot more exciting and we could do a lot more stuff!"
If it didn't hurt to cry, I would have.
I feel bad that he feels that way and yet it was nice to hear that he thinks about life for me without pain. I know I used to play basketball with him and now I can't. It would be very interesting to see how he views this whole thing in his mind.
I replied by saying, "I'm sorry, bud. I look forward to a day I'm not in pain as well. Thank you so much for helping out this week. You've been great."
His response? "It was kinda fun." lol

Saturday night I did little sleeping and a lot of coughing.
In the morning (early morning), I took my medicine but ended up getting sick again. This time with some blood in it.
I crawled back in bed and went into a deep sleep.. for the first time that "night".
My husband woke me up when he was heading to church and told me that I wasn't going anywhere.
I wasn't to worry about Sunday School, taking our son to camp, or playing guitars that night. He wanted me to rest.
He added as he was walking out the door... "I don't want you to worry about the kitchen or paying bills either!"
Those are things that drive me nuts when they aren't done and they weren't done at that point. He didn't want me to end up in the hospital and knew that I could be stubborn about all that stuff he mentioned. :)

I obeyed.

All day Sunday I either slept or watched TV. I wanted to get better and if this was what it was going to take, I'd do it.
I got pretty bored but felt a lot more rested.
Even still, my cough was just as bad and we decided I shouldn't work on Monday and go to the doctor instead.

Yesterday (Monday) I got up and called the doctor's office as soon as it opened. I wasn't able to get in until 11 but at least I could get in.
I hadn't seen this guy before and I didn't know if that was going to be a good thing or a bad thing.

They did the normal check over, asked the normal questions and came up with the same result.
"We don't know why you have this."

It gets very discouraging to keep hearing that. With my headache I can kind of understand that they can't figure out the source. When I couldn't breathe properly, it was a little harder to understand but that's why I made this other appointment for July 1st.
But a cough?
How can a cough not have a cause?
Why am I coughing?

This doctor was baffled and I could tell he didn't like not being able to help me. He was very nice about all of it. He said there's nothing in my lungs and I have no signs of any kind of infection or anything. BUT he said "I can hear you cough. It's very real and something is agitated." He just didn't know why or what.
He wants me to go to a specialist but added that he had no problem with me getting a second opinion from the guy on July 1st. He made sure that I knew he was very willing to help in any way he could.

He did go ahead and prescribe me an inhaler. He also prescribed me some stomach (antacid, I think) medicine because he was concerned about the blood Sunday morning.
A few months ago I had that ulcer-type thing. I'm not sure if it's all connected or not so I'm willing to try this.
I was honestly excited and relieved when he mentioned the inhaler. I didn't just want cough medicine because the stuff I was taking at home wasn't helping, why would prescription?
I've done 3 good doses of the inhaler. This morning I thought maybe it was helping but I'm still coughing quite a bit so I'm not certain.

I have to work.
As I mentioned in my other post, I fear I would get depressed if I didn't.
Yes, it's hard for me. And yes, at times I'd rather be sleeping.
But I know I'm not contagious. I know that I can still provide for their needs. And I know I need the money.. esp if I have more medical bills coming!

My day care parents are so understanding and so willing to work with me. I can be completely honest with them about how I'm feeling. I told them that if they're uncomfortable with bringing their child, I'm fine with that. They know that if I can't handle it, I'll call and let them know. We all have a very honest and open relationship.
In fact, it was one of my day care parents that hooked me up with this doctor on July 1st. She told me this morning that he'll probably order a special kind of test for me that I'll have to do on a Friday.
My day care kids are great too. They've learned my hand signals when I have no voice. They feel bad and say "does your chest hurt today?" They understand if we can't walk somewhere because I don't feel good. The oldest one I have (8 years old) is my mother hen. She worries about me a lot.
I feel bad that these kids are concerned for me and that they have to deal with that. But I can't explain how great they are. We have inside jokes and we laugh. When I'm feeling okay, we dance and are crazy. I still try to take them places but we drive more than walk.

God gives me strength.
I used to say it was daily strength but now it's minute by minute.
I have a fear that this cough will never go away. I have a fear that it'll take months to get to the bottom of this.
But what is fear?
Fear is lack of faith.

I need to have faith that God will provide answers.
I DO have faith that He will not lead me somewhere or give me something that I can't handle.. with His help, of course.
I'm leaning on Him. I still fight the discouragement and fear but I trust Him with my life.

Please continue to pray for me. My next appointment is Monday, July 1st.
I will keep you updated. :)